Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
