I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
