Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Operation Purity has been aborted
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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