In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just tell him i said nine months
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
