Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.

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(315): View more from New York

It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities

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(314): View more from Missouri

My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"

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(404): View more from Georgia

I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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(706): View more from Georgia

She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."

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(239): View more from Florida

I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.

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