I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
