Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
