You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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