I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
