great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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