i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
