Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
