Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
