Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize