just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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