We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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