margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Apparently you make a good broom.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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