im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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