Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
