you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
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