Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
