once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
