I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
