He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I could fuck to npr.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize