I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
