I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
