i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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