he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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