the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
