also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
