Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
