Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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