I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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