would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
