Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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