do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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