just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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