sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
