did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
