Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
