in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She bit a glass in half.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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