What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
