You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
