I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
