How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Randomize
