come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
