dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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