I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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