were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
