I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
