Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
