She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
is it fun? or sober?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
