everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
