1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
