i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
