I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
