Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
