just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
