I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
