Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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