Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
