So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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