Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
