Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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