Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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