discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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